Dr. Colin Lee's "voice" disscussion on how being a minority group while growing up affected who is now, the feeling of isolation and how he found salvation and solitude and personal growth through music. I am what I consider a visible minority 3rd generaation Japanese female. I will turn 56 years old this weekend. Even though both of my parents were born in Vancouver B.C. and I was born in Toronto, I was teased everyday by the kids for being oriental and told to go back to China. I was insulted since I was of Japanese cultural roots,not Chinese, and felt extremely ostrasized. Maybe, I was too sensitive, but I would inwardly cry and wish I was born in Japan because I thought I would be part of a community, instead of being isolated. Dr. Lee, has articulately expressed my own experiences with music. I am so grateful to my mother who started me with ballet lessons when I was 5 years old and piano when I was 7 years old. Having a wonderful, talented piano teacher, Raymond Pannell I was inspired for life.
Music has helped countless numbers of people "find" who they are. It forms an invisible bond between people that nothing else can.
Through example, Dr. Lee has inspired many people.
On reading Dr. Colin Lee's article Reflections On Being A Music Therapist And A Gay Man, I felt a great sense of relief and joy in a fellow music therapists' discussion of feeling like a minority within the profession. His discussion of the reconciliation of his two personae, a gay man and a music therapist, touched me deeply to the core, as I, too, have struggled with being a minority in a similar, yet different, way.
While Dr. Lee reflected on being a minority related to his sexual orientation, mine is of a religious minority: I am a practicing Pagan. Many of my colleagues are Christian, as are many of the clients that I see each day at the local hospital where I work. Paganism is a modern revival of ancient pre-Christian practices, many of which evolved into practices branded as Witchcraft, including herbal medicine, knowledge of altered states, honoring of the natural cycles of the Earth, moon, and sun, and the worship of ancient Goddesses and Gods. Modern Paganism centers on Goddess worship, which views that the entire natural world is sacred and a belief GOD is female and present in all aspects of the Universe. A sub-sect of modern Pagan religion is Wicca, the Witches' religion (sometimes called The Old Religion), which carries within it a strong healing tradition. My spiritual practices are loosely based on Wiccan traditions. It was my faith that led me to become a music therapist, a way to continue my music studies, while fulfilling an obligation to engage in the healing arts.
While I find that my Pagan spirituality directs and enhances who I am as a music therapist, I feel that I cannot discuss my spiritual views with my clients or even some of my colleagues out of fear. Many of the patients that I work with on the oncology unit of the local hospital come from Pentecostal or evangelical Christian backgrounds. These traditions have very strong views regarding Pagan religions and often view Wicca, or Witchcraft, as evil. I am often very uncomfortable when clients ask me about my spirituality, and find myself redirecting the question back to them, or referring them to the chaplain. This becomes readily apparent in cases of palliative care. As a Pagan, I do not believe in a heaven or hell;. I believe that when we die, our souls rest and grow young, ready to reincarnate. The chant, "There Is No End To The Circle", sung every year during the Spiral Dance ritual held in San Francisco, CA, during Halloween, reflects this belief. Yet, it is this same belief that allows me to sing at the bedside of the dying with their families and to not feel overwhelmed by grief.
Ironically, I feel very comfortable and very much enjoy playing and singing hymns with my clients. I believe that through the music we can find connection and feel comforted, no matter what our religious leanings. Lee (2009) states that in order to be an effective music therapist, we must learn to be true and authentic to ourselves. I have no problem reconciling my Pagan self with my music therapy self, as it finally seems like I can be a Pagan and still be taken seriously as a professional. However, it does get "lonely in the crowd". In my life I have only known two other Pagan music therapists: one is no longer practicing, and the other lives 3000 miles away in Philadelphia. The music has helped strengthen me, pushing me along and helping me to connect with others in ways that words simply cannot.
The complexities in Dr. Lees' article are many the first of which was to engender dialogue on a number of levels. In addition, as a Gay man he recognized affiliation with others from the community and ended with a short transcript which spoke about, the value of songs reflective of the complex world within with we live and operate. My experience within First Nations communities suggests the importance of the helper as outsider has to be able to step outside of his or her own culture and often discipline in order to facilitate growth. Isn't it true that the path to therapy is knowing that you belong to a larger community? Even better if skills about coping, relationships with God, balance and traditions might be keys to countering being alone and marginalized?
I just finished spending two weeks, as an Elder in Residence, for a First Nations Healing Centre, for their first ever Pride program, on the west coast where clients were in fact marginalized, physically and sexually abused within their own communities and others. Thankfully, after working with traditionally trained elders from this region since the seventies it was the very first time taking their teachings about belonging, being clean and strong through ancestral connectedness associated with songs, prayers, and yes talk. All of these elements from their own teachings suggested strengths and protection and have been described as 'Sacred' elements. This was particularly important as even within the Gay community First Nations individuals are viewed as the cultural other, and face discrimination for not being white. Indeed as Francis has learned in concert with our own traditionally trained elders/Sulelewh that we have our own songs to sing, often these songs are ancestral in nature and they speak about belonging, good health and protection. To repeat a phrase from Chief Seattle, perhaps, 'we are brothers after all.' Songs, prayers, ceremonies and talk are older than the oppressions brought by church and state which affected the understanding that being two-spirited has a ritual and ceremonial purpose. Thank you Dr. Colin Lee for these contributions.