A reflection of past, present, and future identity as a music therapist flowed through my mind when I read this insightful article titled More Thought About Identity (Rickson, 2010). Memories of childhood when I was standing on the piano bench singing for Nannie; playing chords while she played hymn melodies on the piano; singing in youth choirs and quartets; playing guitar with musician friends from New Orleans; and participating in high school band reminded me that my identity as a music therapist began to form at a very early age. As the writer stated, “Individual identity is embedded in social, cultural and historic context” (para. 4).
The author’s idea that music therapy interaction is not limited to, or obstructed by, the patient’s condition brought to my mind the times that a therapeutic relationship was established with bell choirs composed of individuals who were developmentally disabled or diagnosed with mental health problems. I recall, too, those struggling with substance abuse issues who performed to such a successful degree that a CD was made and used as publicity for patient services.
I personally experienced meaningful affirmation when my roles in productions such as Fiddler on the Roof, The King and I, and A Funny thing Happened on the Way to the Forum prepared me for producing music before large audiences. This experience could then be transferred to group music therapy settings such as country string groups (guitar, ukulele, bass, etc.) in rural, remote areas.
By the time I was in my mid-fifties, I was seeking a profession which combined my life background in music and social services. I was not familiar with the profession of music therapy, but I was told about a music therapy program in the state by an acquaintance. I renewed my ability to play the trumpet and received a marching band scholarship at a local college. Study of the music therapy curriculum at that particular time in life was an exhilarating experience. Today I use my music therapy identity in many varied ways. I am the pastor and music director for a Methodist church. I provide music therapy for the local public school, jail and nursing home. I feel that experiences of my journey have formed this identity which I have today.
One’s identity keeps changing, but different aspects of the self are prominent at various phases and experiences in music as a music therapist relates to the world. The intensely intimate and complex relationship between music and the sense of self strengthens the individual and the group as the writer effectively stated. I find myself once again moving forward in expanding upon my music therapy identity by returning to school for my master’s degree after reaching retirement age. It is a joyful and lively experience to be moving forward with this lifelong identity.
The subject of identity is fascinating to me. It is such a fluid and abstract concept that it is hard to define. I think because of its fluidity, it is also hard to develop completely since it can change depending on social contexts. Being half Japanese, I know that the Japanese culture of my grandparents has had a large part in the development of my sense of identity. I learned in a psychology class that American females who are half white and half a cultural minority identify more with the minority than they do with the Caucasian half. The first part of Rickson’s article helped explain that statement for me when she explained that in a study conducted by Tatum, “The students noticed aspects of their identity that others noticed, things that were exceptional through other people’s eyes.” Therefore, I have been able to shape my identity through my Japanese heritage because others notice it as a distinguishing factor. Of course this is not the only factor that has shaped my identity. Another context in which I am still developing my identity is as a music therapist and I am still evaluating how my identity is shaped by that role.
I appreciate that Rickson confirms that as music therapists, it is important for us to evaluate our personal identity and the values that go along with it in order for us to provide a stable environment for our clients. I would like to expand on this idea a little. Clients needing music therapy are in need of help in some area of their life. Our role as a therapist is very specific in this certain social context—to help meet the needs of our client. Since our identity can vary based on social contexts, I think it is safe to assume that we will have a certain identity within the context of a music therapy session. Not to say that our values change, but since identity is substantially formed by the way we are viewed by other people, we will be viewed as a therapist and will therefore assume this identity. Our identity as a therapist should allow us to fully focus on the client’s needs and not those of our own. For this reason, I believe that it is important and necessary to do introspective exercises that allow us to view the state of our emotions, values, and psychological being which are factors that help shape our identity in any context. In this way, we can work through and be aware of any instability that might be hindering our ability to view a situation without projecting our own needs onto the client.