Re: Response to "How Do We Nurture Ourselves?"

By: 
Joanne Loewy

Caring for the Caregiver-How do we Nurture Ourselves?

I am excited to read about ways that music therapists can nurture themselves. Dorit's writing inspires me especially -I am comforted to read that she creates a space for herself as I find myself worrying about colleagues, particularly in the Middle East. Having had a tiny bite of terror with 9-11, and more frequent bouts of experiencing trauma in the work I do (medical center in New York City), I have found it to be critically essential to develop ways of taking care of myself. I train interns in this philosophy, calling on them to observe and nourish their inner-needs as clinicians and as human beings faced with traumatic situations, sometimes on a daily basis.

Several years ago, upon working with children with HIV and upon some significant losses, I created a healing circle at work, right on my unit - a place where all staff could come together, using music, candles, prayers, telling stories...and to sing as a community of caregivers...at that time the focus was coming together - to grieve a loss - to honor our lives. This was well appreciated, and I began to lead weekly groups for staff---that soon became more than simply 'experiential training' for them to understand music therapy...(which I had done in the past).

Noticing the level of depression on our Oncology Unit-I put together a group for the nurses. Every other week we come together and sing, improvise, talk, create music visualization experiences - and become a community for ourselves. This has been appreciated and so needed. Steve Schneider (music therapist), Amy Bobo (fabulous former intern from Utah State) and our Director of Chaplaincy have been qualitatively studying the effects of this group. We are using the Compassion Fatigue Scales (Figely, 1999) as well as dialogue (transcriptions from audio taped interviews) and surveys to understand how music serves to affect change intra and inter personally.

But this is not the final quest...what about me? What about the burn-out in our field? Is it enough to put it together for others? "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now when????" (Pirke Avot ancient text)

In doing trauma work, I instruct my interns to use countertransference....to feel and experience...NOT to defend with a huge metal door that separates their hearts from others....and NOT to soak up the energy of others as a huge cotton ball---which would be apt to create symptoms of illness from becoming 'overly-resonant' with a patient-We use the image of a sponge-that can take in desired amounts--and then we work to squeeze out-to be able to release or clean out the energy once the session is over...

What an art this is...and this is where it is now for me. How do I care for myself? How can I use the music in a way that is therapeutic and nurturing, for my own purposes. I am not speaking of playing or improvising to process a session...I am questioning the essence of how  I can nurture myself and care for this caregiver???

In 2002, AMTA provided generous funding (through the Recording Academy) for us to create a space to learn in NYC as a community of personal and professional caregivers (those with direct loss and those with secondary-or work-client related losses of 9-11) how music can assist grief and trauma. We studied with trauma experts who were non-music therapists and with our deepest selves and others, what was inherently provoking and healing about music. We learned a great deal, and the music therapists who were part of this training wrote about their experiences (Caring for the Caregiver-The Use of Music and Music Therapy in Grief and Trauma-2002, AMTA Press).

A year later, our group is into a second level training. This time we are only professional caregivers-music therapists, psychologists, social workers, a dance therapist---and we are studying the impact of music, with partial funding, for our researcher, Benedikte Scheiby. We are charging ourselves as a community of caregivers to learn (thru our writing, art and video) about how we can care for ourselves and one another with music. There is a great amount of grief that is emerging, especially now, at the anniversary of 9-11.

In this precious community, I can tell you that I am risking everything, like I never have before. I am opening my heart and soul to the instruments, the songs and sounds...and to this trusted community. Together we are venturing into learning about how the music can help us take care of ourselves and one another. And for me, this is the answer...quite simply---doing it for myself, and figuring out how the music can touch the deepest part of my soul, heart, body and mind, with a community of experienced therapists; talented clinicians (a mileu of healthcare professionals), who all seek to embark on this same journey....Let's continue to explore the meaning that music has for our own purposes, for our own gain. Let's take the risk to go where we encourage our patients to go, for our own needs, amongst one another. Onward...

Joanne Loewy September 11th, 2003

References

Hudnall Stamm, Beth & Figley, Charles R. (1995 -1999). Compassion Satisfaction and Fatigue Test.[online] Retrieved September 11, 2003, from http://www.isu.edu/~bhstamm.
It includes articles and psychometric review. It may be freely copied as long as (a) authors are credited, (b) no changes are made, & (c) it is not sold.

Loewy, J. & Frisch-Hara, A. (2002). Caring for the Caregiver: The Use of Music and Music Therapy in Grief and Trauma. Silver Spring, Maryland: AMTA.